Twitter Feed

Instagram Feed

Instagram

Latest Articles

Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?

Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?

Dear Good Somm Bad Somm,

I recently took part in a Wine Competition against other Sommeliers in which the grand prize was an all expense paid trip to France.   While taking the test I happened to notice that the Somm seated beside me was cheating on his exam and later WON the trip with flying colors.  I'm embarrassed to look like a sore loser so I tried to 'let it go', but several weeks later:  I'm still very bitter.

Sincerely,

Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?

Good Somm

Dear Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?,

The common, healthy-minded advice in this case would be to "let karma run its course".  Probably most intelligent people would perhaps advise you to just "let it go" as you say. 

But, if you think that this Cheating Sommelier’s punishment is "having to live with the consequences of his actions" or some similarly altruistic notion:  you're absolutely right!  He will have to live with the consequences.  And in this case, the consequences are an all-expense paid, epic trip to France and back!  All the while, sleeping in hotels, walking through vineyards and tasting barrel samples!  So he's going to be living just fine with what he did, you can be sure. 

My thought is this: 'letting it go' doesn't mean that you’re "letting it go".  It means that you're keeping it like a secret to fester inside of you.  Really letting it go in this case would be to tell the competition organizers what you witnessed so at the very least they can run a more fair competition next year. 

Sincerely,

Good Somm

Bad Somm

Dear Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?,

People cheat.  It's human nature.  They do it in business, sports and politics.  So why wouldn't they do it in a wine competition as well?  So, the real question here is not "should you snitch or not snitch?".  The real question here is "why are you competing in these ridiculous competitions and torturing yourself??"  Seriously. If you’re truly a good Somm, you can get on the phone and organize your own trip to France with plenty of freebees along the way. 

Wine is one of the true joys of life!  That's why it's been around as long as civilization itself!  So why turn it into a cut-throat, back-stabbing, ego driven cock-fight?

I got into the wine business at a time when there was no Court, there were no Masters, no "pins" and no competitions, so memorizing flashcards and doing really good on a test doesn’t impress me.  Nor does it make for the strongest Sommelier.

If you really want to impress me as to who is the strongest Sommelier, why not take two Somms of a similar weight class, place them in an empty fermentation tank, and have them battle-it-out using nothing but corkscrews and the jagged handles of broken decanters as weapons?   That contest would warrant some stitches a Somm could be proud of! 

Yours,

Bad Somm

No Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

No Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

Netflix and Not Chill

Netflix and Not Chill